Sometimes I think I'm a passive spectator in a church service. And I've unfairly written that judgment, thinking that was the end of the story, unless something changed. But last night I came back and noticed a number of aspects of participation that I hadn't paid attention to before. All of them involve the body, cognition, emotion, and coordination with others and with the Divine. Each aspect has the potential to activate the embodiment of truth and love - connecting and participating with others for their good because of something you are learning about reality, and receiving care from them as well.
Walking in, I exchanged greetings by name with two or three people and received a bulletin and printed list of scripture verses and prayer topics. I held the list, wondering what it was for.
Singing, I held and shifted through whatever posture of worship felt meaningful to me while coordinating my voice with others, alternating between (mostly) listening to unfamiliar parts and joining with familiar parts. The songs activated memories, because the worship leader had told me two weeks before that they would play two particular songs, and I had previewed them on a streaming app to learn the tune.
During greeting time, I shook hands and made eye contact with two or three people around me, coordinating facial expressions and coregulating emotions, exchanging names, recent holiday experiences, and details about where we live, our families, and our travels.
During the responsive reading, I listened to the leader read the first part, and joined my voice with the congregation in the second part, coordinating my tempo to match theirs.
During the sermon, I listened to the pastor expressing care for listeners' difficult situations during the introduction to the sermon and opening prayer, which activated feelings of being seen, understood, and comforted.
I stood for the scripture reading.
I raised my hand in response to questions.
I heard movie quotes and saw movie images, which activated powerful shared cultural memories related to the Bible story.
I wrote notes in the bulletin and filled in missing words in the blanks.
At the end of the sermon, the pastor revealed the purpose of the list -- to guide a few minutes of prayer for the world, the church, and ourselves. A family of three sitting next to me invited me to join them and lead out in the prayer time.
It was easier for me to notice experiencing embodied participation when I visited an Orthodox or Anglican service -- maybe partly because it was unfamiliar and I had to consciously make meaning of it. But intentionally focusing my gaze on the familiar allowed me to see that participation was here, too. One advantage I found with the familiar was that I already knew some of the people, and other people I had seen their names before, which meant for deeper conversation. One fellow I met mentioned that he's visiting from out of state, and hasn't been able to find a church in his hometown, and so I was able to write to a friend near his hometown and ask for local church recommendations for him.
As Louis Agassiz said, "a pencil is one of the best eyes." So I'm writing down what I saw, in hopes that I will remember it next time I feel jaded with the ordinary.
Further reading:
Bob Tierney. 'Let's take another look at the fish: the writing process as discovery.' https://teach.nwp.org/lets-take-another-look-at-the-fish-the-writing-process-as-discovery/
Matthew Lee Anderson. Earthen Vessels. https://matthewleeanderson.com/book/earthen-vessels/
