I remember a church-kitchen conversation with Jim Schmitt around 2006, in which he told me he hoped that there was something deeper and wholly good in him, that is, in his new nature, beneath the sinfulness that kept coming up. I thought again about that comment when I listened to the audiobook for Platonic by Marisa Franco this month.
Franco says the following about authenticity (pp.168-169):
...I used to think authenticity was about rawness, boldly sharing whatever is on your mind. But now I see that it's about listening, listening to yourself, not being afraid to experience what's going on inside you, to acknowledge what you truly think and feel and fear and love, without covering it up with defenses. It's not just about having the bravery to admit your opinions to others, but in having the bravery to admit them within. It's only in this listening that we can sense which friends feel most safe for our authenticity and share our truest internal world. Because when we do this internal work, we don't ask others to do it for us. We don't dominate, control, bash, deflect, ignore, ghost, discriminate, or otherwise mistreat because we need them to relieve us from whatever discomfort is warbling inside. And with what's left, we can love others more deeply, cherish them in their truest form, and find friendship.
She gives the following among her takeaways (p.169):
- Authenticity is a state of presence we access when we aren't hijacked by threat. It's who we are underneath our defense mechanisms.
- Authenticity nurtures friendship because humans are social beings, which means when we're authentic, we unleash our nature of empathy and compassion.
- To be more authentic in threatening situations, restrain from indulging in what comes reflexively, because it is likely a defense mechanism. Be mindful and aware of the triggers that propel you to self-protect without indulging them. Pause and breathe. Shift your attention from defensiveness to openness. Access your higher self.
- To stave off social anxiety that impedes authenticity, focus on the person in front of you instead of yourself.
So the first response is not always the most authentic one, and the raw self is not always the true self. This is going to take some work!
This idea of the self beneath the rawness reminds me in turn of Elijah's experience in the cave (1 Kings 19:11-12). The Lord told Elijah he was going to pass by the mountain, but the Lord was not in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire that came first, one after the other, but only in the gentle whisper that came at the end. Were those other things meant to test Elijah and see if he would jump? Or to prepare him to be in awe when the real thing came, which was different from all that came before?
Now the human "true self" and the divine presence are not the same. But each one takes time and preparation to see.
Jim Schmitt passed on from this life on May 24, 2017. Now he knows both his true self and the divine presence, and, unlike Marisa Franco and I, he no longer has to speculate.
